[TLDR; The “you do you” philosophy sounds empowering, but it’s become a cultural shield that stops us from questioning harmful choices. From its roots in self-help culture to its weaponisation in normalising drug abuse, this seemingly innocent phrase vilifies the calling out of destructive behavior and is seen as “judgmental”. But what happens when personal freedom excuses everything – good, bad, and the in-between?]
“You do you” has evolved from a message of inclusivity to a cultural mandate that shuts down even constructive criticism. It’s no longer a phrase celebrating inclusivity, but rather a stance embodying complicity. Worse, under the guise of advocating personal freedom, it can be weaponised to enable harmful behaviour.
Imagine saying “you do you” to drug abuse – is questioning drug abuse judgmental? A recent episode of The Daily Ketchup features real stories of “you do you”, revealing how easy it is to misuse the term as a tool to shut down tough conversations – even when your instincts say something’s wrong.
How did We Get Here?
Social movements championing body positivity or condemning hustle culture have birthed “you do you” as a positive affirmation. Originally meant to empower people to live authentically, the sentiment behind it has shifted from “be yourself” to “don’t judge or call out anyone for anything”. For example, the “we listen, and we don’t judge” social media trend started out for laughs and as a well-meaning piece to encourage people to share their stories. However, it could also enable toxic behaviour and label those who dare question it as controlling.
Think about the companies who are curating marketing campaigns that frame drug abuse as a lifestyle choice. In America, many cannabis companies have introduced “budtenders” in the retail stores, a creative albeit misleading term used to describe salespeople. 1 Budtenders typically have a youthful appearance, a clever tactic to soft sell to youths by being relatable. These salespeople don’t hard sell cannabis and seemingly allow youths to make their own choices, but in reality, they are still exerting influence on youths. The results show – such marketing campaigns have been linked to increased drug abuse in American youths .1
“You do you” and its Fatal Flaws
Our views are undeniably shaped by our surroundings – friends, influencers, comment sections, and even our “For You” Page on TikTok. If our surroundings hold great influence on us, then are our choice truly “ours” or are they led by others? In our haste to validate our friends, has “you do you” become an excuse to avoid holding others accountable? NCADA’s 2023 National Drug Perception Survey2 revealed that 18% of 3,000 youths know someone who has abused drugs. This statistic tells us that the drug issue is not as far removed as we thought it to be, and caring enough to have the courage to speak up could be key to making a difference.
Speaking Up Doesn’t Have to Mean Calling Out
Youth drug arrests under 20 rose 30% in 2024.3 This alarming statistic suggests that youths have been particularly susceptible to influences promoting drug abuse. Telling someone “you do you” might sound supportive, but when it comes to drugs, it can actually discourage intervention.
Standing your ground doesn’t have to be loud. It can look like:
- Checking in privately
- Asking “Are you okay?” or “How can I help you?”, which shows that you care for your friend instead of blindly validating their actions.
- If someone says, “I tried it overseas, it’s normal there,” you don’t have to argue. A soft response like “I get that, but risks don’t vanish just because it’s legal elsewhere,” can open doors for deeper conversation.
Know Your Stand and Why
Ignore the noise from peers or social media when reflecting on your views. Truly owning your stance – especially one grounded in facts, empathy and awareness – makes it easier to navigate peer pressure. Encouraging critical thinking and being supportive (where it counts!) creates space for real autonomy.
Closing Thoughts
The “you do you” culture promised freedom but delivered cultural conformity to conflict avoidance. We need more open conversations and safe spaces, not bystanders and silent judgment. Saying “you do you” might be appropriate in certain scenarios but when it comes to drug abuse, the phrase often does more harm than good. The next time you feel like taking the easy way out by just saying “you do you,” use your newfound knowledge to judge if saying it will actually be helpful.
Doing so could pave the way for others to follow suit. Plus, we’re also helping ourselves when we look out for others, and that is just one more of the many reasons to speak up against drug abuse today. So, what kind of friend do you want to be? One who avoids tension by using “you do you”? Or one who protects by sparking a change?